Eddie Long

The crime is really not in the sexual activity, but in the condemnation of an act that he fully knows is not a chioce. There is no crime if he came out and said this is what he does, there would be more support. The crime is the preaching o...f hate and condemnation , using his power of authority to promote a propaganda that creates generations and generations of ignorant haters. This would be a test to the church community at large let's see how they would react. I can bet all this conservative churches would begin to talk trash.I for one i would gladly accept him as a pastor and would respect him for that. I pray he keeps his calling and agrees to his sexuality, i would be willing to become his church memeber then. Man is flesh Christians should realize that.

 

 

 

Biased

Sexuality is really complicated...it is funny how it is ok for "str8" people to admire each other and be explicit about sex, but being gay is wrong. It is funny how parents would  rather let their children be sexually active at a young age and guy can have multiple sex partners but being gay is wrong. It is shocking that teenage pregnancy is accepted but being gay is wrong. What you think?

We had dreams and ambition but now it seems like the winters past.

I was talking to a friend and he complained about his partner for three years. I have heard this worries among alot of friends irregardless of sexuality when it comes to relationship even marriage. My female friend complained how her fiance was talking to his baby mama at her back and she kicked him out. There are instances when our hearts are troubled in trust for the one we want to be with. The fear of trust is one that we all have to bear and pray we have the strength to hold on to. I dedicate this poem to all the those who have the fear of trust in them.

I need to know

I need to know do you think about me the way I do about you?

I need to know why you tricked my heart into believing when it is just a facade?

I need to know if you know how much I wanna care and love you?

I need to know why I can't seem to ignore you and act like you don't exist?

I need to know why the sudden change towards me?

I need to know if there is someone else?

I need to know where I stand in your life?

I need to know if you would ever give me a chance to be your lover?

I need to know if you take me for a fool?

I need to know whether I would ever see you again?

I need to know if you yearn to see me the way I yearn to see you?

I need to know the truth and nothing but the truth?

Not knowing the truth hurts me so much.

I pray that you all find peace like i do when it comes to dating. We should all try to put the past in the past.

Love you all

Stallion

The look in your eyes when we had our first love kiss was nothing but memorable.

I yearn for that once more. To lay with you till the break of dawn.

I want to feel the intense of our sex craving for each others body.

The touch of your fingers all over my body

The soft tender lips of yours on my mouth

To feel the Stallion rise from a flat soft mound to the strong hard rock

The veins on the Stallion visible and glistening in ebony glory

The feel of the Stallion in my mouth

I remember the moaning of pleasure as I worshiped the Stallion

The oral liquid bathing the Stallion in worship

Oh Master I could still feel you stroking my hair as I washed your Stallion

Oh what a beautiful moment of ecstasy

When the juice of the Stallion gushed out

It erupted like a volcano

The earth trembled like an earthquake

I felt happy to give pleasure to the Stallion.

Oh how I yearn for such again my Stallion.

Carrying Over Hurt

It hurts when people bring the negativity of their past relationship into their present and hurting the other person. They have all this negative events that caused their past break up and bring it into the present is a way of pushing the new person away. I have noticed that “ I have been there and do not want to get hurt again” is a popular line when it comes to dating. I personally always let the past be the past I let go of it all and concentrate on the present. I would not bring any negative issue from previous relationships into the present. I believe in giving everyone a chance to get to know me. I wonder if it's why I am friends with all my ex. I just want to encourage all those who carry these ideas that time is a healer give the new person a chance to truly love you and be honest to you. I always feel hurt when I date people who have an issue letting go, but I have learned from standing by them that patience is a very strong virtue. I would wait patiently with you while you heal from your hurt. I would accept the mood swings and changes and allow you to pursue your dream. All is ask for is to be given the opportunity to love you and show it.

African Gay Experience

Stages of a Gay Relationship

"Heterosexual couples do not grapple with issues about roles, finances, ownerships, and social obligations in the same way as gay men do. The heterosexual couple that was concerned about acceptance by their mutual families was exceptional, whereas this was the rule for homosexual couples.... Heterosexual couples lived with some expectation that their relationships were to last "until death do us part," whereas gay couples wondered if their relationships could survive. Heterosexual couples have a wide variety of models for their partnerships -- Adam and Eve, Romeo and Juliet, Ozzie and Harriet, Kramer and Kramer. Gay men have only the same heterosexual models, including their own families, which they may try to emulate but find unsuitable.... Non-gay people rarely question the rightness or wrongness of their sexual orientation, but at some point gay persons do." (p. 3)

It should be noted that Coming Out is not a single step, like high school graduation, or even a "clean" stage by stage progression. Often progression to one stage is temporary and regression to an earlier stage follows. Often one may be "Out" to friends but not to family. Often one may be satisfied with oneself but unable to find and maintain intimate relationships, thus preventing further growth.

What follows is a short summary of McWhirter and Madison's (1984) six stages of gay relationships. It should be noted that couples may form while the individuals are at any of the given stages. The individual members of the couple may also be at different stages of the coming out process.

Blending - Stage 1 - Year 1

This first stage in a couple's development entails the "unification" of the couple into a single unit. Each is very happy to have the other and to no longer feel isolated and alone. The couple spends most all their time together, experiences high limerence (romantic love), show high sexual activity, and attempt to equalize the relationship. This equalization process serves to help the couple negotiate responsibilities, rules, mutual goals, individual strengths and weaknesses.... It can be a very difficult time for couples, in that the two members of the couple are socialized in very similar ways. Males are supposed to be decision makers, bread winners, and dominant. Two men may have a hard time giving up control, negotiating responsibilities, learning to rely on and support each other, and being able to show each other their strengths as well as weaknesses.

Nesting - Stage 2 - Years 2 and 3

This second stage is characterized by homemaking, finding compatibility, declining limerence, and ambivalence. Homemaking serves to represent their commitment to each other. Finding compatibility requires accepting and learning to live with each other's differences, personality styles, needs, and goals. Issues of control, power, autonomy etc. can play an especially important role at this point. The loss of limerence (or the "end of the honeymoon") can result in a more realistic view of the relationship and can cause a weakening of the relationship or of the members' commitment to the relationship. This may result in some ambivalence, depression, or jealousy. Internalized homophobia, models about how relationships develop, isolation from role models, ideas about how couples act, what couples should do and not do... all come into play here.

Maintaining - Stage 3 - Years 4 and 5

This stage is characterized by the re-emergence of the individual, establishing traditions and customs, dealing with conflict, and taking risks. The members of the couple may re-assert their individual needs and deal with the conflicts that will result. The couple does not have the traditions provided by dating, engagement, marriage, and religion, and has to develop their own. They may settle into traditions around holidays, may wear rings, may deal with the issue of monogamy ... and increase the stability of the couple. Each member may express interest in new activities or hobbies that do not include the other, make friends outside the couple without the other, and make career changes or development. Each member may take risks by expressing something that they dislike about the other. This involves the risk of hurting the other, losing the relationship, and of admitting that one is not everything to one's spouse. The couple learns also to deal with disagreement, conflict, problems, and "standing differences of opinion." The couple may get through these hard times with the support of family, which McWhirter and Madison (1982) note, may only come after the couple has been together for three or so years.

Building - Stage 4 - Years 6 through 10

This stage is characterized by the settling of the last stage and the feeling of "dependability." The couple establishes the independence of the individual partners, but also reaches a new balance of dependence/ independence. They are now able to collaborate towards newer goals and desires, such as career building or pooled financial ventures. One partner who did the cooking for several years may turn the job over to the other partner and go back to school. This stage may also be marked by a comfortable complementarity, a decreased need to process every issue and discuss every decision, and the ability to "know what the other is thinking" in a conversation. This may also be detrimental if the communication process breaks down or if members make unwarranted assumptions about the relationship.

Releasing - Stage 5 - Years 10 through 20

In this stage the couple trust each other completely, after realizing who they are and who the other person is. There is no desire to "change" the other one. Close friendship and companionship are the main characteristics of this stage, as well as higher relationship quality (Kurdek, 1989). Money and resources are no longer shared so much as they are simply owned by both. Each member gives themselves freely to the other. The couple may however, begin to find life with each other as boring. They may begin to take each other for granted, may sleep apart, may find little pleasure in their accomplishments, and the individual members may experience the "mid-life crisis." However, after resolving this stage, the couple may move into the next stage.

Renewing - Stage 6

The could be called "the retirement" stage of the relationship. The couple has achieved adequate financial security and now has time for each other. As they move toward "old age" together issues of health may become important. Each individual may be concerned with his own health as well as the health of the other. Old friends may die at this stage as well. Issues of productivity, accomplishment, and meaning in life may become important. It should be noted that McWhirter and Madison compiled these stages before 1984, when AIDS was beginning to be identified in hospitals. Issues of health, dying, financial security, and loneliness become even more important during this stage in the 1990's. Lower self-esteem and depression may exacerbate already present feelings of estrangement from family (Lang, 1991). Issues and conflicts in this stage of the relationship conform to Erikson's "Integrity versus Despair" stage of psychosocial development.