Hello this is my first blog and plan on being diligent here. i have gone thru a lot being gay and african, i want to use this as an avenue to share my experience, my pain and joy my life being gay. I am DL for security reasons. One of the most scary thing is being discovered by family and church.
I am a young African guy. I am a leader in my church which is highly homophobic. I would not trade my Christian faith for anything. I am scared of the rejection both from family, the African community and most especially Church. I know people might be different on the church aspect, but i find a lot of spiritual strength from my church. It is more than a church to me it is a family, the only thing is it's homophobic atmosphere. As a leader in church i have to speak against Homo sexuality to the teens and condemn the "practice" . I feel bad and terrible each time i have to do this, but i have no other options. I know there are gay oriented churches out there, but i know what the church means to me. It is more spiritual than just going to church. Through the teaching and guide i have learned form this church my life has been changed and transformed. Being a gay African is not easy especially when i am young (not yet near 30), and a christian, i guess one of the hardest part is coming over to the US meant having no real friends. I miss my friends back in Africa because i could talk about this issues with them.I know i am still relatively new here but most times i am all alone and it is really more difficult each time i sit at home all alone wishing i had friends to talk to and open up. I remember a few weeks ago suicide seemed like the right way out, but i was able to overcome it. The question is what do i do? Come out or be DL marry and live the ideal African man life? I have witnessed first hand the presecution one faces being gay the rejection, the beating the killings. I have gone throughmany spiritual deliverance thinking i was consumed by the demons all to no avail. I have tried doing things to "stop" but never got to do it.
I AM GAY I AM AFRICAN I AM A CHRISTIAN
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