The Nigerian Homosexual Bill

I am gay Nigerian Christian and happy. I am a university graduate from a prestigious school. I am not mentally ill or demon possessed. I was neither raped nor sexually abused as a kid. Using logic to analyze this case if the law is based on "moral" and "religion" then adultery and fornication is a federal crime. False witness, coveting, lust should all be a federal crime. I rather spend 14 years in jail than to live a life of deceit and not being me. Now to those who say foreign aiD should go to blaze, what contingency plan does the government have to help those depending on those programs? With this law passed would it empower and improve basic living for all? The education sector is in shambles and it is only affordable for those who can afford private schools, yet no law or bill has been brought up to revamp it. I can be called names for being gay, I am not ashamed of me. This bill passed or not would harm lives than help. The irony is it was the western world that started persecuting and brought it during colonization and they've seen the error in their ways. It is beyond wonders why this bill is a piority for them. There are major issues that are pressing in both nigeria and Uganda and homosexual is the least of their issues.
 Now I have decided to stop hiding behind a mask and be out about my sexuality. I would not hide any longer, the more i do the more victory to those who wanto oppress us. I think these countries needs the LGBT community to be more vocal and present. There should be fearless leaders and people who are not ashamed about their sexuality and should come out. If i had the finances I would have gone to Nigeria and speak out.

Scar

Good Morning fans. I know I have been MIA for a bit but been good busy. I just wanted to share a lesson from an experience. In life we have situations and some leave scars that stay there forever. I learned that a scar is also a sign of healing. In life we have all been given the power to choose nothing is " I had no Option" There is an option not to go with that option. At times people keep seeing that scar as an open wound on the past, but the truth is if it was open it would be a wound not a scar. Growing up I was a very adventurous kid and have my fair share of body scar to prove, but when I look at them I laugh and the lesson i got from that experience made me wiser. A scar is a does not hurt therefore move beyond the hurt. The more we hold on to a scar as a wound we unknowingly hurt those around us that genuinely care about us. There is nothing to hard or difficult to let go, the more we hold on to these experience the more we let the others who caused the wound to control you. These people who hurt you have moved on their life might be on the "right" track outside but you do not know what they go through. I know in the black gay community we go through loads of abuse and hardship but let go of it all because the final choice of happiness lies in you. There is nothing wrong in seeking professional help or asking for support from people. Taking the anger and stress on people who love you is just not right nor taking it out on abusive behaviors is not right either. we need to stand up for ourselves brothers we not anyone but we. I am not trying to give a pep talk or preach but I write this because I care. Much Love to You all.

The Real Foundation Of A Relationship

Been thinking how the blame is always on the EX but never on us. We are quick to call him all sorts of names and put him on blast. In reality when a relationship goes sour it is really the 2 parties and not just one person that is at fault. The question is then what if he is a cheat or a liar? In reality how innocent are we when it comes to cheating all we look at is the sex. Cheating is not only sexual not being 100% real with your partner is cheating also. The question we should ask is what really was the foundation of the relationship.
People say that when you love is the foundation of a relationship but i personally disagree. Love is a seed that is planted and grows more and more each second. The love plants becomes stronger by each trail and victory both parties encounter in life not by material wealth or looks. The real foundation of a relationship isadaptabilityy. The coming together of 2 personality is not going to be a rosy fairy tale affair. There would beargumentt, there would be nights you can not stand each other. There would be talks from friends and community. The truth is for a successful relationship we should accept both weakness andstrengtht. We should go in with patience and understanding. It also comes down to the first meeting in setting the pace knowing what you want and being open about it. We all have what attracts us but does it also keep us in? TheHerculess body drop dead gorgeous guy might be all that physically but there is no personality after the attraction. In our community we complaina lott on how it is hard to find THE ONE but then who is the one we seek? The best is to makeoneselff that person who your Mr. Perfect would want to date. Challenge yourself to look more into personality than sexiness. A great personality would always show physically.

I know many would disagree with me but as earlier stated this thoughts are my own personal view. Been through so much that now I see life differently in a more humble and down to earth manner.  I ran into a guy i have not seen in a long time and when we intially met he was everything our community would classify as not dateable but now things are different for him in every aspect of life.                                                

Food for Thought

I rarely post but just have to say something. The news about the school boy who shot students in Chardon, Ohio is something that got me deep thinking. I read a bit about the shooter T.J Lane and i thought bullying is deeper than we know. He was a student in a special education school and was taunted and always segregated from others. I relate that to the gay community where a high percentage of us live in the physical level and anyone not par with that "gay" level is mocked and avoided. I then asked myself how often do I look at people for who they are than what they look like. How many friends do I have who care more about others than being a GQ poster man. I personally belief that a truly genuine beautiful personality would show in your appearance. I say this because each time we diss another person each time we throw shade each time we show off we indirectly saying we are superior than you and that is what bullying is all about. The irony is everyone complains that gay people are fake but yet the person complaining is no less materialistic. Those who are forever remembered are those who positively effect changes in the lives of those around them. There are many people who need our help but to help genuinely we must understand what it means to live with the basic necessity of life.

Why do gay gys living outside their home country still live in bondage? Sex and sexuality? Is the bible really homophobic?

Why do gay gys living outside their home country still live in bondage? Sex and sexuality? Is the bible really homophobic?

What I really want.

I am gay and Nigerian. I am not a retard, stupid or fool. I have no mental defect or brainwashed by "western world". I did not wake up one day and decided to be gay and be hated by the world. I am who I am. I am a son, brother, cousin, uncle, nephew, friend, neighbor, coworker... Homosexuality is never by choice or evil spirit. I have never asked for permission to get married as a gay Nigerian all I asked was to put laws that would protect me from discrimination, violence, hatred and murder. I want to know that if I am attacked and I report to the police I am not at risk. I careless about marriage for now. I know how hard it is for people to misunderstand all things sexuality. They think that my sexual orientation makes me a devil advocate. I am stigmatized for what I had no power over. The Christians condemn me to their hell the Muslims condemn me to death I have come to the realization that my life is all about me, no matter how judged I am by others none of them put food on my table. When I die I die alone. I rather live for the truth even if it means 14 yrs in jail than to spend my whole life living a lie because of a biased society filled with ignorance. I am gay does not mean I hate the opposite sex or cannot have children. I am gay does not mean the ec0nomy of the country would be terrible or the lives of our citizen would depreciate. I am gay does not affect the quality of infrastructure in the country. Call me whatever you want but I am gay and it is who I am.

An African Gay Experience: Sexuality and Spirituality Nigerian Gay Experience

An African Gay Experience: Sexuality and Spirituality Nigerian Gay Experience

Sexuality and Spirituality Nigerian Gay Experience

African's are living in a religious environment. They claim homosexuality is not an African culture. They blame the Western world for it influence and say we should hold on to our African values. Yet they use Christianity and Islam to judge homosexuals and i ask are those religions African culture?

Sexuality and Spirituality.

http://www.soulforce.org/forums/showthread.php?t=100 The reconciliation between sexuality and Spirituality is one that is usually ignored among the lGBT community. The result for many is to end up in either 2 extremes. The first is that we become victims of Society's religious belief and then castigate ourselvs for who we are. The second is we become villan's to the word Spirituality and denounce it's very exsistence. A few are able to come midway and truly understand that there is a need for an equal balance between sexuality and spiritiuality. These extremes also is more commom in some regions. The frist extreme is popular among bible. religious areas where there is a large homphobia cryout and folks hide their sexuality due to avoiding castigation and punishment. The second is found in liberal areas where people do not care about anything and belive that they fully own their lives. The truth is we all need to balance the Spiritual and Sexual beign to have a complete and healthy beign. We are made up of various beings which are: Physical, Social, Spiritual, Spiritual, Emotional, Intellect and Sexual beign. We always want to balance all these in our lives so as to have stability and progress. One is not more important than the other and one lacking is not a complete person.                      

Amazing grace Gay

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aQg3XqoyV3Q&feature=player_embedded

This shows that we are all special. Love also involves spiritual connection. We should stirve ti reconcile our spiritual self to have a complete being.

Facebook Pickup

Why is it not legal to hit some mofos with the most horrible degrading pick up lines. Sometimes folks on FB say the most stupid thing in the name of trying to hook up. Guys if you see someone on FB that you find attractive, also have an educative positive conversation to sell yourself. Talks about sex, sexual role or relationship status are a no no. Sending a random message saying you like the person or stuff like that is totally wrong. Before i forget distance should be considered if the person lives far from you and meeting is next to nil then don't be all i love you talk. Seeking true friendship is much more productive than sex or physical attraction. Also i do not want to know your dick size or your ass safe it for someone else.

A poem about nothing

A poem about nothing

I want nothing else than to be with you,
And nothing else but you will ever do.
Nothing they say will make this change,
‘Cause there's nothing if we ever turn that page.
My friends think our love is nothing,
But nothing's what I hear when they're talking.
I tell them, nothing's ever gonna come between you and I,
‘Cause nothing's really ever gonna reach that high.
They say I always talk about you, but that’s only nothing,
‘Cause nothing stops every second's thought from being about
you,
And nothing even feels remotely better than you do.
I'm smiling even when nothings funny,
But when they ask, I simply say there's nothing.
The money means nothing,
It’s simply your love or nothing,
‘Cause nothing else makes any sense,
And nothing will ever make these words past tense.
See, I've got words, but I realize they're nothing,
When I'm trying to find the right ones but nothing even comes
close.
I've got nothing without you,
But with you, nothing will ever do.

I wish Upon a star

I wish upon a star.
That a day shall come when i walk hand in hand
Down the aisle covered in red rose petals.
In an open summer field of bright sun.
Looking forward to kneeling at the altar.
O how i envision the smiles and the joy all around me.
The presence of friends and family
Well wishers and co-workers
The day i shall look into the eyes of that who i call soul mate
The day when two becomes one
The day two families unite with a lifelong bond.
I know it's just a wish for now.
The reality is i work down the dirty road
Covered in verbal and physical abuse
In a grey rainy field
Being pushed further and further away from the altar
We both run from those who hate our love.
Our families yes are united to our division
But if anything i hold on to this love which we share
This love that lights the dark room we are locked in
This love that feeds me in this period of starvation.
I push forward each day with this love on my mind
The truth is that which i wish for,
Is done each time i lay in your arms and look in your eyes
Is done when i hear you speak
Your love is the summer in this rain.
The star upon which i wished is you.

I dedicate this piece to all those going through issues with family.

The African Coming Out Effect

There has been a lot of topics about sexuality and family. I know the strength and power family plays in the African culture, it is one that brings us to a cross road when it comes to our sexuality. The main concern about being open is not about us but how would our family be treated. This is common irrespective of where in the world they are, they still carry the same values. They are more concerned about what would people say about then than how you would be accepted within the family. There are things to consider when these issues come up:
1. It is important to know that as it took you time to accept who you are, so would it take time for them to accept the fact about who you are.
2. Family would eventually come around and accept you but rarely would they accept you fully. Some would let you know that they love you but do not fully accept your way of life.
3. There would be the spiritual phase, this would happen immediately when they would seek spiritual help to "cleanse" you. This stage depends strongly on your age and your family. 
4. This is particular to young folks they might see it as a "phase" that you might fade out from. This is where i try and talk to people, because it is very sensitive it causes a lot of confusion in one minds and if care is not taking might lead to one being homophobic while being homosexual.
5. The adults in this period would have the "opposite sex" pressure. Now what i mean is when the family believes that if she/he gets married and has sex with the opposite sex the situation would stop. In some cases they bring about forced marriage.
6. They might tell you to leave the house and do not return and thinking you would be repentive and come and apologize saying you are now straight.
(to be continued)

PS: No matter what you go through push hard and be determined to be successful in what you do.

I am not a label

I am not a label

I am not a classification

I have been classified all my life

My tribe

My nationality

My accent

My race

Classified classified classified

I have lost my personality to these classifications

I am now classified based on my sexuality

I wonder would I ever be known for my personality

I am meant to fit a certain stereotype

Walk this way

Sit this way

Talk this way

Be this way be that way

I scream let me out of this classification I ask

I came to my own and then I am further classified

Top!!!

Bottom!!!

Versatile!!!

Effeminate!!!

Masculine!!!

I am not any of the above

They say you are act like a woman

I say I have a dick so I am a man

They say I am unnatural

I say I am a human with no abnormal body parts

I am me not a label

WHO ARE YOU?????

I am MEEEEEEEEEEEE!!! !!! !!! !!! !!! !!! !!!

  I hope we all look beyond classification and labels. Being who we are is enough classification, do not cause further damage.

Much Love Red Winers

I am

 I so disagree with you. My sexual orientation is not a practice or a choice. I am doing nothing wrong. I have lost so much because i refuse to be what society says i should be. I am happy i am where i am right now. I am gay proud and out. I am very active in the gay community where i live. Now are you judging based on religion or morality? If homosexual is wrong then is it the religious organizations along the Lagos Ibadan expressway that are more concerned with quantity of members instead of making the road more passable and improve quality. Is it the so called Don and Doyen in the industries that steal money and make donations while the religious organizations make them leaders and all. I witnessed how the church made my Dad a leader and elder and all that based on money, because he was far from a "Christian". I ask again on what grounds do you make your statement. If it is based on your religion then bro speak for yourself. There are over a million religion in this world. We all have different belief system so please speak for yourselves.

There are so many wrong going on in our society that Homosexual is the least. If my child is gay then we live with it. I have told my family that a Sister (daughter)in-law is so out of the question. Live your life for yourself bro because nobody would do it for you. I have run the race i am fighting the good fight. all i can tell you is that it gets better. I have overcome the "i hate myself" stage. The real choice is whether you compromise your happiness for pleasing society. When i told my dad's elder sister all she said was as long as i do what i want to do and i am happy. Then fuck what people say. If you marry would society come to your house to help out. Would society be the one to pay the bills. Would society give happiness.

I am a gay Nigerian and got no shame in my life. I am independent pay my bills and strong willed. I am a man, a brother, a son , a grand son, a friend, a co worker. My sexuality does not change me. I am me a man of life and prosperity. A man not conformed by the ideology of others but by finding the truth in his search for joy. Have a good one.

 I am an ordained pastor for nearly 10 years. The word of God is so strong and it shall do that it was sent to do. I want you to know that God loves you for who you are. He knew you right from your mother's womb. He knows the end for the beginning. It is a sad thing that Nigeria is a society based on religious folks and not spiritual folks. God loves you for who you are. The sin is when you lie everyday for who you are. The sin is going to church pretending to be who you are not in worship. The bible says John 4:24 (New International Version)
24 God is spirit, and his worshipers must worship in the Spirit and in truth.” If you act heterosexual and marry but deep inside you still have the true you then it's a sin. I watched my family hurt by cheating and it is not a good thing. I wish i could talk to you one on one and not via message. It get's better bro belief me. I decided to be the real me from Nigeria before i came here. I had to stop going to church so that i can discover who i am. Brother life is beautiful life is awesome as a gay person. You should not live by your sexuality but by your personality. You are a brother, a friend, a cousin, a son, a grand child, a classmate a co-worker and an Image if God.

 I so disagree with you. My sexual orientation is not a practice or a choice. I am doing nothing wrong. I have lost so much because i refuse to be what society says i should be. I am happy i am where i am right now. I am gay proud and out. I am very active in the gay community where i live. Now are you judging based on religion or morality? If homosexual is wrong then is it the religious organizations along the Lagos Ibadan expressway that are more concerned with quantity of members instead of making the road more passable and improve quality. Is it the so called Don and Doyen in the industries that steal money and make donations while the religious organizations make them leaders and all. I witnessed how the church made my Dad a leader and elder and all that based on money, because he was far from a "Christian". I ask again on what grounds do you make your statement. If it is based on your religion then bro speak for yourself. There are over a million religion in this world. We all have different belief system so please speak for yourselves.

There are so many wrong going on in our society that Homosexual is the least. If my child is gay then we live with it. I have told my family that a Sister (daughter)in-law is so out of the question. Live your life for yourself bro because nobody would do it for you. I have run the race i am fighting the good fight. all i can tell you is that it gets better. I have overcome the "i hate myself" stage. The real choice is whether you compromise your happiness for pleasing society. When i told my dad's elder sister all she said was as long as i do what i want to do and i am happy. Then fuck what people say. If you marry would society come to your house to help out. Would society be the one to pay the bills. Would society give happiness.

I am a gay Nigerian and got no shame in my life. I am independent pay my bills and strong willed. I am a man, a brother, a son , a grand son, a friend, a co worker. My sexuality does not change me. I am me a man of life and prosperity. A man not conformed by the ideology of others but by finding the truth in his search for joy. Have a good one.

 I am an ordained pastor for nearly 10 years. The word of God is so strong and it shall do that it was sent to do. I want you to know that God loves you for who you are. He knew you right from your mother's womb. He knows the end for the beginning. It is a sad thing that Nigeria is a society based on religious folks and not spiritual folks. God loves you for who you are. The sin is when you lie everyday for who you are. The sin is going to church pretending to be who you are not in worship. The bible says John 4:24 (New International Version)
24 God is spirit, and his worshipers must worship in the Spirit and in truth.” If you act heterosexual and marry but deep inside you still have the true you then it's a sin. I watched my family hurt by cheating and it is not a good thing. I wish i could talk to you one on one and not via message. It get's better bro belief me. I decided to be the real me from Nigeria before i came here. I had to stop going to church so that i can discover who i am. Brother life is beautiful life is awesome as a gay person. You should not live by your sexuality but by your personality. You are a brother, a friend, a cousin, a son, a grand child, a classmate a co-worker and an Image if God.

THE BALLARD GOODBYE

THE BALLARD GOODBYE

I have held on too long to you

I have cried too many tears for you

I have hurt too much for you

I realize the end is now

It Hurts to say good bye

I remember the first time I saw you

Your smile was melting

Your eyes were mesmerizing

Your voice weakened my knees.

Then the journey started

We had dreams

We had passion

We had love

Then came the bumps along the journey

I stood by you

I bore the hurt

I cried the tears

I held on

Then the smooth road came

You moved on

You changed suddenly

I have come to the awakening that this is just an illusion relationship

I have come to the realization that real love means to let go

I have come to the truth that it ended as soon as it began

My love

My Boo

My man

I say goodbye to you today

I cry tears of a heartbreak

I sleep a sleep of loneliness

This is just for a while

I shall rise

The lessons you taught me stays with me

The love you showed me I share to all

The positive vibe you gave me I carry on

The negative vibe you gave me I leave it behind

I sing a Ballard of goodbye

Good bye My love

                                                                   The Ballard Goodbye

ore about it later. I have realized that illusion sucks and is deceptive. Now I am back stronger and wiser. I have so much to share.

So I have been gone a very long time a lot has happened. In September some people outed me to my parents and I was banned from the house. I would write m

Ok I want to start a Question and Answer section. Anyone interested send me a question. email to coolafricangay@yahoo.com