Hello this is my first blog and plan on being diligent here. i have gone thru a lot being gay and african, i want to use this as an avenue to share my experience, my pain and joy my life being gay. I am DL for security reasons. One of the most scary thing is being discovered by family and church.
I am a young African guy. I am a leader in my church which is highly homophobic. I would not trade my Christian faith for anything. I am scared of the rejection both from family, the African community and most especially Church. I know people might be different on the church aspect, but i find a lot of spiritual strength from my church. It is more than a church to me it is a family, the only thing is it's homophobic atmosphere. As a leader in church i have to speak against Homo sexuality to the teens and condemn the "practice" . I feel bad and terrible each time i have to do this, but i have no other options. I know there are gay oriented churches out there, but i know what the church means to me. It is more spiritual than just going to church. Through the teaching and guide i have learned form this church my life has been changed and transformed. Being a gay African is not easy especially when i am young (not yet near 30), and a christian, i guess one of the hardest part is coming over to the US meant having no real friends. I miss my friends back in Africa because i could talk about this issues with them.I know i am still relatively new here but most times i am all alone and it is really more difficult each time i sit at home all alone wishing i had friends to talk to and open up. I remember a few weeks ago suicide seemed like the right way out, but i was able to overcome it. The question is what do i do? Come out or be DL marry and live the ideal African man life? I have witnessed first hand the presecution one faces being gay the rejection, the beating the killings. I have gone throughmany spiritual deliverance thinking i was consumed by the demons all to no avail. I have tried doing things to "stop" but never got to do it.
I AM GAY I AM AFRICAN I AM A CHRISTIAN
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3 comments:
I thoroughly appreciate the candor of the prior post. Existing in Christian homophobic space is-- as I know from personal experience--unbearable and it simply hurts.
All I can say is find a community that loves you for you, all of you! Suicide is never an option!
I never thought my family would accept me as when I revealed my "bi-sexual" status...but they did...they both loved and protected me the more. I'm certain, and I know, that most of them did not agree with the identity to which I laid claim...but they did realize that my revealing my sexuality to them didn't change the fact that many had been inspired and changed by my ministry, by my work ethic, by my commitment to justice...to that end, I believe they began to recognize the myriad contradictions that are not only inherent to life ...but intrinsic to the Christian faith that seeks to order it...
Much peace, hope and love!
Nice blog
Good for you!
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